Some Mondays you end up sitting in an extra hour of traffic cranking classical music just to chill you the fuck out. And then you show up at work to see a human shit napping under a napkin with his fly friends.

And then you thank God, smile, and take a deep, long breath of beans and rice that was dumped in front of your spot the night before.

And finally you make it inside the building to hear a pleasant story of how one of your employees got food poisoning from a rancid seafood salad and literally got two black eyes just from puking his guts up over the past 24-hours.

We're off to a great start! Happy fucking Monday!

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